Our First Mini-Vacay, Sans Bebé
I was about 35 weeks pregnant, my husband and I took our last short stay-cation to Palm Springs before the exciting arrival of our baby girl. We were in the communal pool right outside our house and started talking to a couple of women, when one of the women told us that this was the first time (ever) she was leaving her son, and how she had so much mum-guilt and anxiety. I was expecting her son to be a baby or toddler. He was 9 years old. Look, each to their own and everything lol. But it was then that I decided I did not want to be like that.
Mila is 10.5 months old, and my husband and I have just taken our first mini-vacay without her to Scottsdale AZ. It was recently my 30th birthday and also our third wedding anniversary last week, so we thought what better time to celebrate together?! But like, together together. So we booked Arizona! We chose Arizona because I love it there (lol) — I had been a few times before on my own for work, Tom had never been, and I’ve just been wanting to go back with him and properly explore it together for a while!
I will be honest, in the few days leading up to leaving Mila I was feeling a liiittle nervous — she is at the age where she is getting into everything, opening drawers, and sticking everything and anything in her mouth, so I have to watch her like a hawk 24/7. Not being there to do that for three days was a little nerve-wracking to say the least. BUT, I was so excited to have a few days to just relax, recharge, and be with Tom!
Honestly, it has been a-mazing. No one on earth appreciates a quiet pool and a good book quite like the parent of a baby or toddler! Haha. We drove from Palm Desert to the Four Seasons in Scottsdale in exactly 4 hours; we’ve been drinking spicy margaritas, lounging by the pool, reading, talking, and eating at boujee AF restaurants. Actual heaven — right?!
The Four Seasons in Scottsdale is gorgeous, it’s very tranquil and right in the middle of the desert. You feel totally isolated (in a good way) and it’s honestly the perfect place to 100% relax and “find your zen” — we couldn’t have picked a more perfect spot. It’s also surprisingly family-friendly, there were lots of babies and kids in the pool — but they have an adult pool with a full poolside bar service. The whole aesthetic of the hotel is amazing, and the hotel sits on 5 acres of desert land, so you are driven around on little golf carts which truly makes it feel like a vacation!
I really forgot what it was like to spend time with Tom without Mila. As parents, we get so caught up in our children that we often forget to put ourselves and our relationships first. We become the last on the list. But damn, it feels SO good to have a break together. My biggest advice? Shelve the guilt, and think about mumma for once. It’s healthy. It’s GOOD for you, and good for your marriage. It’s important.
It has been pretty easy for me to get out of ‘mum-mode’ for a few days — I really believe it is purely down to your mindset and the trust you have in your child-carer. I want us to fully enjoy our time here, and I want to soak it all in so that I feel refreshed and recharged for when I get back to my baby girl. We have been FaceTiming her and my parents every day, and we also have an Owlet monitor which has helped because I can see her from my phone when she is napping or in bed for the night - which just gives me reassurance and peace of mind.
I feel like in order to have a successful, child-free vacation, you need to create a system that you feel comfortable with before you leave. So for me, I made sure to write down Mila’s morning to night schedule — from daytime naps, to bottle times, to what to make her for lunch and for dinner. Write as much as you want and share it with your child carer. We left Mila with her grandparents, and my brother and sister-in-law, so obviously this made it easier for us to go on a mini vacation. They know her, they know her schedule pretty well and they love spending time with her — and we 100% trust them.
Another great option if you don’t want to travel too far - stay-cations. Obviously with covid-19, less people are traveling as it is right now. It’s allll about stay-cations!
But overall, I honestly couldn’t recommend a baby-free vacation enough — once children come along, everything is revolved around them and it is so easy to put yourself and your marriage last. Don’t fall into that. Take time for yourself. Make sure to spend quality time with your husband and continue to put effort into your relationship. Your children should come second sometimes. I also just feel like an all-round better mother and parent when I have had a break, and there is nothing better in the world than seeing your baby after a few days away! Can’t wait to get back to my baby girl!!!
Here are some of my favorite stay-cation places in Southern California:
Santa Barbara
Palm Springs
Malibu
Newport Beach
Balboa Island
Laguna Beach
Where are some of your favorite places to travel, sans bebé, in SoCal? Let me know in the comments below, we could always use new ideas!!