Raising your Little Girl…
I recently saw a photograph shared on Instagram that really made me stop, and think. It was of a little girl, about two or three years old, standing in the bathroom on top of some scales with the caption “Mummy, I want to be just like you!”. I almost cried.
In the society that we live in, girls are faced with a serious amount of pressure, especially when it comes to physical appearance. We are all expected to be thin, beautiful, sexy, picture-perfect, have rock-hard abs, big lips, curves, zero cellulite… Seriously, WTF. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for botox, eyelash extensions, and slight lip fillers! What I’m talking about is the way women obsess over every little single detail about themselves, constantly striving to perfect the way they look. Our society has become completely fixated on youth and beauty, it’s scary. And I truly believe that raising healthy and happy little girls is more challenging now, than it ever has been before.
As a mother to a baby girl, I dread to think that there will ever come a day where she doesn’t feel beautiful according to our mainstream culture. It honestly makes my heart ache at the thought of it. So, I don’t know about you, but I definitely want to nip this in the bud as early as I can. I want to make sure I do everything in my power to raise a healthy, happy, well-rounded girl that does not base her worth, her value, and her happiness on how much she weighs. And that starts with me.
Once you become a mother (especially a girl mama) it really forces you to think about your own insecurities, and re-think everything you do and say. This is because your little girl is constantly looking up to you, listening to you, and relying on you to shape her into an independent, kind, loving woman, who has an abundance of self-worth and inner-confidence. You are going to be her “inner voice” for the rest of her life.
So, let’s get real… I’m guessing most, if not all of us (including myself), have looked in the mirror at one point or another, and have not liked what we’ve seen — whether its our bodies, a facial feature/whatever it may be. We are all guilty of it! We wear baggy jumpers, leggings, we try to hide our bodies when we don’t feel good. This needs to stop! Have you heard that saying “comparison is the thief of joy”? It’s so true. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and love ourselves for who we are. Beauty is not based on how you look… It’s based on who you are. And we always seem to forget this. In order for you to teach your daughter to have a positive body image, you need to learn how to feel good about yourself and your body. Yes, I’m saying you don’t have to be the spitting image of a Victoria’s Secret model! So…
Stop all of the negative comments regarding your body in front of your children - no matter how young they are. It’s bad for you, and it’s bad for your daughter. Your baby girl will learn that talking negatively about your body and criticizing yourself is normal. Remember, whatever you do, she will copy. So start talking positively about yourself, to yourself. Compliment yourself in front of her. Literally show her what self-love is and what it means by doing it yourself. Practice what you preach.
No I-need-to-lose-weight talk in front of your children. You do not want your baby to grow up thinking that, no matter what size she is, she needs to go on a “diet”. Diets are not sustainable. Instead, teach your children to have a healthy relationship with food. Install healthy eating habits early on. You should also model healthy eating habits — because she is always watching you and looking up to you. It allll starts with you, mama.
Stop with the food-guilt people!! There is no “good food” and “bad food”. Food is food. It fuels our bodies. It gives us the energy to keep running after that toddler every day! And yeah, sometimes we want and need comfort food. I want to let you in on a secret… It’s not the end of the world if you have a slice of cake. You’re still hot AF, and guess what? You haven’t just miraculously gained 10 pounds by eating that pizza last night. It’s all about having a balanced diet. Food issues arise when you start depicting between good foods, and bad foods. Don’t pass this on to your children.
Do physical activity for fun! Show your kids that exercising is not purely for “losing weight” - it can actually be fun to exercise! Go on hikes, take your dog for a nice walk outside, do yoga together, go swimming. Be active.
Don’t keep fashion magazines around the house. I’ve made the decision to do this, because I don’t want Mila growing up thinking that the women in these magazines are normal and real-life, when actually the images in those magazines are unattainable for most women because they are photoshopped. Magazines set impossible standards of beauty.
If you haven’t already, watch the film “I Feel Pretty” with Amy Schumer. No but seriously, put the kids to bed, get a glass of wine, get cozy on the couch, and watch it!!! Amy Schumer is genuinely one of the best humans ever, it’s such a feel-good film, and it has the BEST message relating to this topic.
Obviously I realize that there is a lot out of my control when it comes to this topic, as outside factors such as TV, social media, school, will come into play at some point or another. All I want is to do my best to teach and instill positivity, self-worth, and self-love into my baby girl from an early age. At the end of the day, all we can do as mother’s is prepare our children, the best possible way that we can, for the world.